smoking hot

I was in the locker room yesterday, after the basketball game, when Szilvi, who was still outside, counting money, shouted in if I wanted to take the ride this guy was offering? I was pissed because I knew this meant Szilvi wouldn't be coming along and I didn't want to go with him in the first place, let alone...alone with him! So I didn't say anything but then I said, ok, but Szilvi came in that they didn't hear me and he went to change as well. And then Andi was leaving and I was sneaking out and I went with Andi till Moricz.

Then I took the bus and was reading the David Sedaris story about smoking. And he was telling how every person chooses her own cigarette brand and I remembered when I first tried to smoke, it was during university when I liked this guy, and he was smoking, and I reasoned to myself that I'm not going to be this girl who wants to "change him", so I didn't tell him to quit smoking so as not to annoy him. And I also started smoking. It was nice. I smoked for two weeks. And then came a girl who constantly told him to quit and he fell in love with her!

And my choice of cigarettes at first was Gauloises, because it was French and at that time I was into everything French. And I saw that movie with Roman Polanski, The Tenant, and there is that part in it when he goes in to a kiosk to buy cigarettes and he is asking for something and they say, "here's Gauloises for you" because that's what the previous tenant was smoking. And I thought, cool, and I tried blue, red, and yellow Gauloises but the red was impossibly strong and I got superdizzy, the blue one was ok but still felt like a punch, and the yellow was just fine.

And I also smoked in the U.S. when I felt sad and lonely. I was always smoking on the top of the back stairs in the garden, in the dark, so that nobody would see me. The only problem was that I would have to take two flights of stairs back to the room and I got very dizzy. And it also made my sensitive throat sore. But once I was smoking outside the downstairs tv room and Marion was playing pingpong inside and she saw me and was scolding me! There I was buying Marlboros because I thought Marlboro is so American, so I went to CVS to buy a pack. And there were free matches in every restaurant.

And now I feel so sick of smoke that sometimes, especially when I'm drunk, I think of smoking and then feel so sick even at the thought of smoking, so I never do it any more. But maybe I will smoke one day again, who knows?