Yesterday was quite okay, not counting worrying all day for Justo and for the money. The money came at 5, and Justo came down for dinner at 6. I saw him smiling a little bit and it was such a good feeling. I feel like I have to tiptoe around him with everything that I say now. I hope he will get better and change his mind about going home to Spain (like forever).
After dinner, Roman, Benjamin and me went to Rock Creek Park to see an open air theater - by bike. It was not an easy ride, uphill most of the time...but the play was good and I wanted to see one anyway while I'm here. I read, I think I can say a LOT of Shakespeare - once I had an English drama course where I didn't read the plays during the semester, so I had to read all of them within 5 days, it was fairly hard. My head in the end was buzzing with phrases like, "methinks thou wilt suffer, my dear" This time it was A Midsummer Night's Dream. It wasn't fantastic, but ok. There were some good actors. The costumes and the music I didn't like that much.
During the intermission Benjamin was teaching defense moves for me. He does this Israeli self-defense where there are no rules, you can hit the other wherever. Now he said, "Ok I will show you something, it won't hurt" but then every time he said it won't hurt, it did. So I will not play these games with him any longer.
The ride back, though, was very good, downhill all the time. It was before 11 that we arrived. I saw Justo sitting in the garden talking loud, which I took as a good sign and I saw no necessity of me going there - there were some people sitting around him so I guess he didn't need me. But yesterday I realized something. So far, I have been thinking that I should not talk about my boyfriends like how much I loved them, as it might frighten away other boys. But now I think it is the opposite. If a guy talks to me about how much he loved his girlfriend, it's all the more attractive to me, because I feel I want to be loved the same way!
This reminds me that I had a bad dream. I met Mr. Bluebeard and first he seemed to look guilty and sorrowful. Then to make him feel better I started joking. I couldn't help mentioning his new girlfriend, who turned out to be not who I thought, but a Russian girl - he knows no Russian girls, just a girl who lived in Russia. And as usual, in the end I had the same feeling I always had, that I'm not as good as some other girls and he wants to get rid of me. Ahhh.
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