as if I had a choice...oh well

Sometimes I like to think that I'm in a movie and that helps to see what's going on on a grander scale. Which is good to assure myself that things are going to be okay in the end. I mean not like happy ending, but what happened to me last year seemed to be really important, and of course, not any more. At all. Which is kind of sad, of course. I just wish these days quickly flew by and I would not have to worry about putting things that happen to me into the big crossword puzzle any more. I'm just so tired. Today I went through emotions from wanting to cry to really really having fun and laughing.

I met Antje and one thing about her is her voice. It's really nice. At first she was speaking to me very slowly, always looking me straight in the eye (and of course I was also looking, with my hard concentration look), but then we had a great chat. She said Alex and Conrad, who used to have vacations in Hungary, used to come back with 18 watermelons in the trunk and were eating them for 2 weeks. (I would like to ask everyone if you also spit the watermelon seeds out? Yes?)

We also went to an art gallery which had video installations. The main theme was the war on Iraq. Videos were made on the spot, with rotating figures and mirrors, images of soldiers, prisoners (tortured prisoners) and children were projected onto the screen and an old man seemed to appear on all the videos. As we stepped in, some cameras recorded us, too. Once we walked in we got involved, that is. In the back of the gallery was a room with a video of George Bush watching a video, and behind this were rows and rows of tvs showing the same video that George Bush was watching. What do I make of all this? I don't really think about the war and stuff but it's good that some people do this attention-raising because that's important, right, public awareness, but at the same time it's also, like, art, and who makes these videos? who are portrayed on the videos? (I was, too) And George Bush is watching what happens to all these people like he is in control, but he is also on a video that I'm watching, so it kinda gives me a good feeling that this art piece makes sense I mean at least it's optimistic that there's a chance it might work- so I liked it. (I love postmodern.)

We had our first WG interview today. It was really a "things you did not know about your flatmates" event. For instance, I had no idea that Juniper works at weekends (in her room). It was funny how, for an hour, we really looked like a WG that was "nett". Mr. G was cool and I have never heard Juniper speak so much. After the girl left I thought we'd have a discussion but Juniper's smile just disappeared from her face when I asked, "also was denkst du" and she said the girl was "nett" and that was the end of the discussion. The girl was okay, she was pretty, though she had chrystals in the middle of her nails, she fancies going to discotheques, and she likes jogging at home. I asked her if she can cook and then she asked back, "what do you mean?"

I wish I could ask questions that may yield more insight into people like real character questions like "who was your favorite Spice Girl" (mine was Mel B). I'm sure Juniper would hate this idea.